KATY BOURNE AND THE MICE INFESTATION

ImageImage“Horrors this morning,” screamed Katy Bourne the Police and Crime Commissioner for Sussex, as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes to find mouse droppings in the kitchen. “Been cleaning like mad,” she tweeted, “so kitchen now spotless but I can’t find the mice..yet.”

Offers of help have flooded in from concerned citizens.

Good Samaritans have offered Katy Bourne the hire of their cats to catch the mice, while others offer sound advice that mice cannot resist peanut butter and chocolate.

Determined to catch them and force them out, Katy Bourne has come up with a “Cunning Trap,” to catch those ‘blighters.’

“I’ve covered surfaces in a light dusting of flour. Hopefully tiny footprint trails will reveal all in the morning #mousedetective,” she tweeted.

ImageIn between hosting the Sussex Youth Commission and tackling domestic abuse by welcoming Clare’s Law to Sussex, Katy Bourne’s most urgent matter seems to catching the mice at all costs.

“Would have to be up all night I think – too tired. Humane trap been suggested but if you release them they’ll run back in?”

Other tweets include:

  • “Determined to catch the blighters so I’ve lightly dusted kitchen in flour. Hopefully tiny footprint trails will reveal all #mousedetective
  • “I’m hoping they like peanut butter as cunning trap has been laid. Apparently they’re incontinent too so I’ve been cleaning.”
  • “I’ve covered kitchen in a light dusting of flour. Hopefully tiny footprint trails will reveal all in the morning #mousedetective
  • “Plenty of tiny mice footprints. Looks like they’ve been busy too.”
  • “Right, kitchen now sprinkled with flour – will tomorrow morning reveal yet more mice paw prints – not very good at catching them though.”
  • “Yes I’ve been told that peanut butter or chocolate is irresistible for mice.”
  • “Seriously considering this option – lots of people have kindly offered me their cat on loan for a few days.”
  • “I’ve heard that peanut butter is a winner for mice so might try that. Hoping these are temporary house guests tho.”
  • “Too right although might borrow one for a few days as lots of people have kindly offered me their cats.”

ImageIt’s a Metaphor.

Katy Bourne’s mice infestation can be seen as a metaphor of the position she finds herself in.

Having made history by becoming the first Police and Crime Commissioner for Sussex in November 2012, Katy Bourne has been at the helm of a rocky ship ever since.

Riddled with scandal and controversy, Katy Bourne’s leadership has been called into question from all quarters, the most vocal of which is the Shadow Sussex Police and Crime Commissioner (SSPCC), Matt Taylor.

Living in Petried Fear.

In any dream dictionary, a ‘Mice Infestation’ is commonly seen as:

a metaphor for some problem which you cannot get away from. It may even symbolise some problem which continually affects you. You have maybe been affected so badly that any fears that have developed are now constant. Perhaps you were abused in the past and now you cannot develop relationships properly?

ImageIn a month which saw her Chief Constable Martin Richards stand-down early due to a misconduct charge, Katy Bourne found herself in deep water, and with no experience in these matters, decided to cover-up the truth, and tell the public he’s retiring a year earlier than expected.

Martin Richard’s statement about his departure is very telling, “I am pleased to say we are on track, and that’s one of the reasons why I feel it is a good time for me to step aside and give somebody else a chance, as we are now about to embark on the next lap.”

Well if Martin Richards was so “pleased,” that he was “on track,” and baring in mind his contract was extended for another year to October 2014; why is it a good idea to step aside and give somebody else a chance?

Wouldn’t that be the last thing to do?

“Embarking on the next lap,” sounds tricky to me. Why would a Chief Constable at the height of his game, with a year to go before he retires, suddenly decide to, “step aside and give somebody else a chance?”

Read more: Why Martin Richards really retired early?

We all know why Martin Richards “stepped aside,” but no-one is brave enough to say it.

ImageThe Brighton Connection.

In a week that saw Pope Francis swear under the pressure hiding his evil deeds, Katy Bourne’s mice infestation is a metaphor from God, that Sussex police is infested with corruption.

Read more: Pope Francis says the ‘F-Word’

SSPCC Matt Taylor starts “substantive complaint” against Katy Bourne’s conduct.

Matt Taylor, (a problem which continually affects Katy Bourne,) has initiated complaint procedures against Katy Bourne in relation to her conduct since becoming elected Police and Crime Commissioner for Sussex in 2012

He said, “I will soon be delivering a comprehensive report to the Sussex Police and Crime panel, raising substantive details concerning the conduct of Katy Bourne. Further more, I will not be relying on general assertions or personal opinions, but specifics about the substance of the allegations against her.”Image

“Katy Bourne: You have been held to account and found guilty of malfeasance in office.”

A mice infestation in her kitchen is a reflection of the situation she finds herself in. Katy Bourne has become so affected by the relentless scrutiny of public life, she’s developed a constant fear, which has manifested mice into her daily life.

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One comment

  1. […] By Matt Taylor for Brighton Kemptown 2015 […]

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