ImageSimon Kirby, MP for Brighton Kemptown, has taken credit for improving the condition of Falmer railway station on behalf of Seagull footclub fans.

Promoting his message as a sponsored link on Facebook (at taxpayer’s expense no doubt) he says ‘I’m Delighted that Network Rail have responded to my lobbying and agreed to improve capacity between Brighton and Falmer stations. It will make life much easier for Seagulls supporters on match days.’

Lapping up the praise of his supporters such as Gussy Think-nottle who says ‘Well done… Trains are shit I only get on them when I’m drunk’ and Paul Beard, who says ‘Well done, Simon…now do something about your bosses’ and then Pearl Beard who says ‘Good work Simon, thanks from us all.’ Before leaving him a big ‘X’ as a kiss, and not forgetting Michael Lunn who says ‘Excellent…..can we get other local Members to ask questions of SoS……good work Simon, it would be good for the Conservatives to lead the way on this matter.’

What Simon Kirby fails to reveal, as James Knitted Bobby Hards says ‘Nothing to do with British Transport Police lobbying on safety grounds then?’

As revealed by the Brighton’s Evening Argus newspaper, ‘Network Rail is set to invest more than £2 million upgrading the Brighton to Lewes line and increasing platforms at Falmer Station. It is hoped that the improvements will allow more trains to run and reduce queues before and after matches.’

Multi-millionaire Simon Kirby, who has been alleged to be among 645 other MP’s who have snorted cocaine in the Parliamentary toilets by the Sun Newspaper, is acknowledged to have recently met with Network Rail officials to lobby for improvements to reduce congestion particularly on match days.

Simon Kirby boasts of receiving support from his Coalition Partner, Norman Baker MP in supporting a second rail link.

Simon Kirby and Norman Baker, MP for Lewes, have recently worked together by fraudulently passing through the Disabled Person’s Parking Badge Bill in 2012, by ensuring it became Statute Law with a ‘Handshake’ rather than a Second Reading, which it must have according to Parliamentary procedure.

Simon Kirby asks ‘Does the Minister agree with me and many other people in Brighton and Hove that the only sustainable solution for increased capacity is to build a second line?’

To which Norman Baker replies, in his capacity as Parliamentary Under Secretary of State for Regional and Local Transport, ‘I entirely agree with my honourable friend that there is pressure on the existing line. It is very full up during many of the peak hours, and that also affects train performance on that line, which I know he is concerned about. I certainly think there is a case for looking at capacity issues in a novel way between London and the south coast, and the Secretary of State and I hope to take that matter forward in due course.’

Work to lengthen the Falmer platforms is due to be completed by December while re-signalling work is due to be completed by next spring.

Simon Kirby’s blatant attempted to take credit for something which was already decided without his involvement is illustrated by a statement from a Southern Rail spokesman who says ‘We are already working on plans on how we can best deliver these benefits, ready for when the project completes next year.’

Simon Kirby is hoping to be elected as the MP for Brighton Kemptown for a second time, in the expected 2015 General Election.

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