"I told you Granny wouldn't approve of our Spanish escape."
“I told you Granny wouldn’t approve of our Spanish escape.”

Princes William and Harry have been made to do penance, having over indulged on every conceivable luxury, at a hunting weekend in Spain. Speculation is rife that the Queen has ordered her grand-children to help with the flood relief efforts in Datchet, England as a penance.

Clearly irritated at having to do such menial work, Prince William was the first to snap at local reporters, “Why don’t you put your notebook down and give us a hand with the sandbag?”

Later in response to the question of if he was enjoying his work with the relief effort, Prince Harry grumbled, “Not really with you guys around.”

According to Kensington Palace, the princes appearance in Datchet was not meant to be an official appearance or a photo opportunity, as it was a “private effort” that the two decided to take part in with members for the Armed Forces.

Read more: The Royal Hypocrites.

Earlier this month, their father, Prince Charles, toured flood-hit area in Somerset to meet with local residents, farmers and emergency services personnel.

Read more: Prince Charles will never be King.

On Granny’s Orders.

Having scored a public relations disaster while going on a hunting holiday, courtesy of the Duke of Westminster, only days before appearing at a wild-life charity event to deplore poaching; the Princes had to do something to crawl back what little credibility they had left.

Prince William spotted with Jessica Craig
Prince William spotted with Jessica Craig in Spain.

Prince William spends night with Ex-girlfriend.

Staying away from his wife on the most romantic day of the year, Prince William ‘bagged’ himself his ex-girlfriend, Jessica Craig.

While Princess Kate fled the UK with baby Prince George, to be with her family at a Caribbean hideaway, details have emerged that the female friend, alongside his brother, four male friends and a few close protection staff, who stayed at the Duke of Westminster’s hunting retreat, was none other than his ex-girlfriend, affectionately called Jecca.

Read more: Princess Kate flees the UK with baby George.

Expectations were high that the Prince William would ‘bag’ himself one over the hunting weekend, and it would seem it certainly did ‘bag’ himself one!

To hide the evident troubles between William and Kate, Buckingham Palace has issued a press release stating, “The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge put duty before romance on Valentine’s Day as the Duke lugged sandbags in a flood-hit village and the Duchess opened a school art studio.”

Queen Elizabeth to the rescue.

While the Queen is more concerned about the welfare of animals than her human subjects, she has shown remarkable human kindness to Princess Kate, as she steers the young Princess through troubled waters.

When a young girl realises she’s married into the UK’s equivalent of the Addam’s Family, it is easy to raise your arms horror and shout, “GET ME OUT OF HERE, I’M A CELEBRITY.”

Diamonds are a girls best friend.

Kate must accept royal tradition
Princess Kate must accept royal tradition

The Queen lent Princess Kate some of her priceless royal jewels to be worn at the 100 Women in Hedge Funds fundraising gala at the national Portrait Gallery.

The necklace was originally created by Cartier in the 1930s and was given to Queen Elizabeth to mark her wedding to Philip in 1947.

With a 38 diamond chain and 13 emerald-cut diamonds in the pear-shaped centre, the gesture was speculated to softened the Princess up to a life of adultery.

Its something the Queen had to tolerate with Prince Philip, it was something Princess Diana had to tolerate with Prince Charles, and as tradition dictates, it’s something Princess Kate will have to tolerate with Prince William.

Adultery runs in the family.

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