Prince William and Kate are on a make or break holiday in an exclusive resort somewhere in the Maldives, as a last-ditch attempt to save their failing marriage.

Sold by Buckingham Palace as a second honeymoon, The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have come under criticism for leaving their seven-month old baby at home as they enjoy another lavish and extravagant holiday at the taxpayer’s expense.

kate-middleton-and-prince-william-royal-honeymoon copyMake or Break.

While Prince William was gallivanting around Spain with his friends and an old girlfriend, Kate was left with the Queen in London to sooth a broken heart with jewels and gala night’s with famous film stars.

Read more: Princess Kate flees the UK with her baby.

Read more: Kate borrows Queen’s diamonds for Gala night out.

Read more: King Paki snubs Prince William.

The Queen knows from bitter experience.

The Queen knows more than anyone the adultery which goes on behind the palace doors. Soon after her marriage to Prince Philip, she realized in no uncertain terms that her husband enjoyed a sexual appetite which made the concept of monogamy impossible.

As a result she’s never slept in the same bed with her husband again, and satisfied her own sexual needs from further a field. Its common knowledge between court jesters that Prince Andrew isn’t Prince Philip’s son and neither is Prince Edward. In fact while we are on the subject, neither Prince William nor Prince Harry are Prince Charles’s sons, while Prince Charles is said to have sired two other more boys hidden from public knowledge.

If anyone is experienced enough to placate Kate, it’s the Queen.

Business Down Under.

Next month, the William and Kate embark on a three-week tour of New Zealand and Australia – this time accompanied by George, to hurry Australia whose been dragging their feet over the laws of succession.

While the succession laws have nothing to do as to whether the first born is a boy or girl, but everything to do with a counter claim to the British royal throne from Greg Hallett, acting as the Lord Chancellor to Queen Victoria’s firstborn legitimate son Marcos Manoel.

Read more: Gregg Hallett calls the Queen a Fake!

Other counter-claims to the British Royal Throne include Matt Taylor’s as a direct descendent from King Arthur II and further back to the Holy family via Aunt Anne.

Read more: The Taylor’s or the Rothschild’s: You decide?

Prince William’s primary mission is to ensure New Zealand and Australia tow the line and pass the law that only the sons of Prince Charles become King.

“They’ve shot themselves in the foot.”

This is a problem because Prince William isn’t the son of Prince Charles.

Three Questions.

Kate has three questions that need answers from Prince William.

1.      Are you a clone?

2.      What did you ‘bag’ on your shooting trip in Spain?

3.      Is your dad really King Juan Carlos I of Spain?

Speculating is growing that Prince (Dim-but-nice) William, has a clone which does all the hard work for him.

Captured on video and published by the Guardian newspaper, footage shows a clone doing the work while the original Prince William gets ready for the photo-shoot.

Watch this amazing footage: Prince William’s clone caught on film.

While the cats away, the mice will play.

Following the allegations and imminent arrest of the Queen for protecting paedophiles and her role in satanic worship, Princess Kate did what any self respecting princess would do in her situation and fled the country with her baby to the bosom of her family on an isolated island in the Caribbean.

It was against this back-drop that Prince William did what any self respecting prince would do and ‘bagged’ himself his old girlfriend, while shooting wild creatures on a luxurious holiday with his brother and friends.

All this while the Windsor royal family crumbles and the whole legitimacy of the Windsor royal family to the British Throne is called into doubt.

Spare a thought for Princess Kate as the realization dawns on her that yes in deed, she’s married into the British equivalent of the Addam’s family, where her husband is a clone, the original husband is off shagging his ex-girlfriend, and the family she thought was the British monarch, turns out to be a paedophile infested German clan with no claim to the British monarchy, and whom will all be sent to jail.

We haven’t even started on Princess Diana; I’ll leave that to Chris Spivey!

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